Synchronizing calendars and contacts using 2 computers and 2 iphones

my husband and I both have a MacBook Pro; we both have an iPhone. Lucky us! We want to be able to synchronize our calendars and contacts on each other's computers. How can we do this without over-writing each other's calendars and address book? We both use Ical and Address book. At the very least, it would be helpful have my husband's work calendar and my home calendar integrated AND our contacts. Please tell me how to accomplish this. Thank you.

If you don't want mobileme, here are two other choices:
http://spanningsync.com/
http://www.markspace.com/synctogether/

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