Syncing iPhone 3GS with new computer

Hi everyone!
I got a new MacBook for christmas, and I just downloaded some music on here which I want to transfer to my phone but when I drag it across nothing happens! From what I've read on the internet, I gather that you can't sync with more than one computer. I tried to tick the "manually manage music and videos" box on my new MacBook, but get the message that all my content will need to be erased and replaced!
I wanna keep some of my old songs and definitely my apps - since they all have high scores etc..
The old computer is also a MacBook, if that makes any difference.
So basically,
Question 1: Is there any way at all to add this music from my new laptop to my iPhone without deleting the old stuff?
Question 2: If the only way around this is in fact erasing, which things will actually be deleted from my phone?!
Thank you SOOOO much in advance to anyone who can give me a bit of help here!

Right okay, haha. I think I have a little bit more of an idea of what I need to do now!
I'm not bothered about having my whole iTunes library on my new computer, so will it still work if I just copy across any songs/videos/apps that I want to?
And about the contacts - I never used Mail/iCal/Address Book on my old Mac - mainly use my computer for iTunes, the internet and some games! lol. So do I still need to add a contact/event?
Good to hear about the text messages, though! Is there anything else that won't be touched?
I'm just gonna have to bite the bullet I think - it would be an even bigger pain if I could never use my phone on this computer!
Sooooo, basically, if I click the erase and sync thing, everything will be replaced with all the stuff currently in my new library and if I check the manual box, then I can add things to my phone whenever I like? sounds okay - just need to know what I'm actually gonna loose. xD
Also, do you recommend I back up my iPhone on my old computer? SO CONFUSING! hahahah.
Thanks ever so much again!

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