Syncing iphone4s to comp not showing up in devices

I have changed my settings in preferences so my iphone does not automatically sync to comp as I do not want all of the apps that are on my ipod to download to iphone....however since doing this when I connect my iphone to comp  i cannot seem to figure out how to get the device to show. Once it has shown where do I to sync only a few of the apps  (not all)
Cheers
Amy

I started having the same problem recently and tried everything you tried to no avail. I'm wondering if the recent ATV update caused the issue???

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