Syncing my iPhone with Outlook

Question

I have now lost my contacts for a 3rd time syncing my iphone with my laptop. I did so in order to get the 4.2 update for it and to attempt to save my hard fought business and family contacts.
I don't know if this is an issue to do with using Microsoft software with an Apple product, but as a consumer - I just don't give a ****. At this stage in the game, the two should be able to play nice and keep your issues in the courts and away from my data. Here is another suggestion - use the write terms to describe what is being done. Example - merge. Here is the definition of the word merge:
merge – verb (used with object)
1.to cause to combine or coalesce; unite.
2.to combine, blend, or unite gradually so as to blur the individuality or individual identity of: They voted to merge the two branch offices into a single unit.
–verb (used without object)
3.to become combined, united, swallowed up, or absorbed; lose identity by uniting or blending (often fol. by in or into ): This stream merges into the river up ahead.
4.to combine or unite into a single enterprise, organization, body, etc.: The two firms merged last year.
Nowhere in this definition does it say that at the end of the merging - you should have less, certainly not significantly less than when the process started. I would expect duplications, I would also expect error messages as in the old mail merge process of Word 5.0 where you would lose data if a tab or comma was missing. But at the end of this merge in iTunes, the result is always some random loss of data that is impossible to establish any kind of rules. Did I lose the data because there was a duplicate on my laptop, because the fields were different? Why would I start with 600 contacts in my phone, 100 on my laptop - merge the two and end up with 90? Please someone explain how a merge could result in less, significantly less? How is that 600 + 90 = 120? ***!!!! I can live with the iphone not having java - I can just avoid videos, but now it can't add?
Bottom line, can you please put your R & D department, your developers and engineers together and give them a basic vocabulary lesson. Merge means add - not subtract. Obviously this is an issue that has befuddled many before me and will continue to frustrate many more because is yet to be answered on this forum.

Answer 1

I had a backup from outlook that I restored to outlook and then used Itunes to sync the Iphone
I had to turn off the ICloud sync
The only problem now is that it does not sync my calendar or contacts unless i plug the phone into my compluter and tell Itunes to sync them