Syncing with multiple devices

Hi all, any help is appreciated.
I recently had to re-format my computer and lost all information, etc. I reinstalled iTunes and backed up my iPhone, synced, transfered purchases, etc.
Not a day or two later I got an iPad. I set it up but now every time I plug it in, iTunes starts copying all my iPhone apps automatically even though I don't have it set to automatically sync. So, I have to stop the sync and end up deleting a few apps from the iPad each time.
Then I'll plug my iPhone in, and it'll sync the couple apps I have on my iPad to my iPhone. I dont want them on there. I want to treat these as two separate devices that I can pick and choose what I want on there. For example, I tried to copy a few pics to the iPad - but couldn't - so I copied them to my pictures folder - which, of course, I didn't want every single picture in that folder on my ipad, but who knows how else to do it - but when I went to sync to get some pictures on my iPad, it started copying apps instead.
Another issue is, when I try to copy some stuff from my iPhone, iTunes will tell me that iPhone is set up with another computer and it can't copy certain things (specifically music and photos) to this computer since it is not the comptuer that the iPhone is set up with. How do I change this?
To summarize, I guess I have these questions:
1) How do I get iTunes/my computer to treat these two devices separately? I don't want ot have the exact same apps/setup on each.
2) How do I set these devices up to take what is on them and sync it to itunes so I can pick and choose what is on both?
3) How do i copy individual pictures onto thsese devices without syncing an entire folder, which makes me sync all my iphone apps onto my ipad?
4) How do I setup my reformated computer to be the main computer for my iphone so I don't get odd messages when I try to copy things off of it/ sync my photos and music?
THANKS! for all your help in advance.

Wow, surely someone knows how to do this. I have an iPod Classic and an iPhone. They always synced separately just fine. iTunes never tried to put iPhone apps on the iPod classic. But last week I got an iPad. It is not only trying to add all of the current apps from my iPhone but all of the ones I've ever had and deleted as well!  There has to be a simple way to set them up to sync separately but I'm not even seeing an option for my iPad for what I want it to sync.  It's either all or nothing of each category unless I go in and put one app on there at a time by hand. 

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