Too many contacts = sms problems

Hi, i bought and 16GB iPhone last week and i'm having some problems with SMS.
When I click on the SMS, it takes about 40 seconds to open (when it opens, because normally just returns to the home screen), everything is really slow (opening conversations, writing/reading messages..). The problem only occur when my big list of contacts its in the phone (+- 4000 names).
My sister bought and 16GB in the same day, everything is equal, but she only have 100 contacts and her iPhone work perfectly. I already tried restoring my iPhone and reseting, but after syncing my contacts, the SMSs just stop working right. When i sync MY contacts in HERs iPhone, the SMSs of hers phone also starts having problems.
I feel like if it wasnt prepared for that ammount of data. What should i do? Does the iPhone has limitations regarding the number of contacts?
Thanks in advance.

My life would be a lot easier if the iPhone had a spotlight, but in the time been, my fingers are getting stronger from all the scrolling...
I cant delete contacts because most of them are business relations/ hotels/ restaurants/ tennis partners... My contacts are my office on the road. But thanks for trying to help...
Anyone have a solution for my SMS problem?

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