Traditional Solution To "White Screen of Death" Not Working

My 2G 32GB iPod Touch was working fine, and an hour later, I got the "white screen of death." I tried the hard reboot, holding down the home/sleep button for 10 seconds. After that failed, I tried 15, 20, 25, etc. I tried upgrading to 4.0.2. Nothing. Restoring to factory settings. Nothing. Restoring factory settings AGAIN. Still just a white screen.
A couple days later, I was seeing if it was just a screen error. Turns out, whenever I slide where the slider would have been on the screen, it made the unlock sound. When I had unlocked it, I poked around until I got into something with a keyboard, and all of the letters had the "click" sound whenever they were touched.
My opinion is that the problem is a loose wire that connects to the LCD screen, just randomly getting unloose. However, I want a second opinion, and a potential solution.
AND DO NOT TELL ME TO HOLD DOWN THE HOME AND SLEEP BUTTON FOR 10 SECONDS. IT DOES NOT WORK FOR THIS CASE. LET ME REPEAT. THAT SOLUTION. WILL NEVER WORK. FOR THIS SITUATION.

Yeah. I've done that about a thousand times. Perhaps you didn't read what I wrote in all caps. Or perhaps you misread the title.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okvp29UhHCM&feature=related
Imagine that what's happening in this video is on an iPod, and isn't an app. And there's no display of time or WiFi signal.

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