Transfer music from iTunes 11 to iPhone 4s or iPod 4G - Home Sharing

OK, I'm an Android guy and I'll leave it at that. Recently got an iPhone 4s for my wife and an iPod 4G for my son. I'm slowly working my way through these devices. I would consider myself a very tech saavy person.
So, music. We have a lot of music. With Google - I've used Google music without issue. It uploads to google music and using the app on the android phones, streams without issue. There is an iOs app called gmusic which didn't work very well.
I started tackling the iTunes challenge. Long story short - I installed iTunes 11 on my 'main' household computer. Slowly importing all the music to iTunes. Then turned on Home Sharing. Have two other computers with iTunes loaded, all three signed into same Apple ID and all three are sharing the music.
I have read and re-read the "how to's" - including syncing all music (which I'm not going to do) vs choosing the music (all via iTunes when iphone is plugged in).
What I would like to be able to do is for my wife to be able to scroll through music in iTunes and pick music to sync / copy to iPhone. This would seem intuitive but it does not appear to be. Dragging songs to iPhone gives a red line.
Same problem on other computer with my sons iPod 4th gen. He needed much less music and the solution seemed to be, highlight song in shared library, click import (imports to local libary), then I was able to drag to iPod.
I'm not going to go a rant about Apple products and the argument that "they just work!" - but you can read between the lines.
I'm not sure what the hangup is with this situation but I am worn from trying to figure it out.
Thanks.

It is very intuitive as soon as you realize what is occurring.
In order to sync media to a device, that media must be physically present on the computer (or an attached external drive) that the device is syncing to. iTunes will not sync media from another computer (via home sharing) to a device. Just my personal opinion, home sharing is a complete waste of time, turn it off.
Once all the media is on the computer, connect the device and tell iTunes what to sync to the device.
Another option is iTunes Match. This does not sync media to the device but will instead allow the user to "stream" media as it downloads to iDevices.

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ctrl S - show sidebar.
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This series of posts was very helpful to me in fixing a problem I had encountered (apart from the various rude comments made by those who seem to have no patience with users who do not have their skill level...). The problem that I had is as follows -- at least I think this was the problem.
For some time I had been managing my music on my iPhone manually. That is, I simply dragged and dropped the music I wanted to my iPhone from my laptop using iTunes. Then, suddenly (it seemed to me) all of the music I had put on my iPhone seemed to disappear except one album that I had recently bought. I kept putting music on the iPhone, and it would work fine, and then it would disappear again. I looked through manuals and settings and couldn't seem to figure this out. Now what I've determined is that iTunes must have changed something in a more recent version that deletes music that is not "synced" with each new sync of the phone. (dragging and dropping had worked on my iPhone and iPod for some years previously... but i think with an upgrade of the iTunes software things changed.)
So, following the suggestions in this discussion, I went to iTunes with my phone plugged in. Clicked on the device (i.e., my phone). From the Music tab (at the top), clicked on Sync Music. (Previously I had not followed through on this step, because there was a warning message that said all the content on my phone would be erased -- technically false, because it would only erase music on the phone, not everything.) But when I did click on the Sync Music, accepted the warning, and then clicked on "Selected playlists, artists, albums, and genres," there then appeared a very nice set of checklists that allows for on-going management of music on the iPhone. (I didn't know about this checklist because it didn't appear... I had thought that "checking" was something that was to be done from the main music menus...)
Anyway, the system of checking playlists, albums, etc. is quite nice for managing music on the phone, because my phone will not hold all of the music that I own, so I can update the phone by syncing so that it holds only that portion of the library that I want to use at the moment. (Sometimes I'm listening to the Blues on a daily basis, sometimes to Beethoven...) So, even though this discussion didn't tell me all of this, it did give me the lead that I needed to get there.
So, as a comment to our rude fellow commentators here: I've been working with Macs and Apple equipment for over 20 years. I don't go back to re-read all of the manuals every time I upgrade software. And when Apple doesn't tell you that they've changed something in their software that invalidates a procedure that you've been using for years, it can look very strange. Then, when you do go to the manuals to search for the problem, rarely do you find (at lease rarely do I find) any explanation that a new procedure is in fact a new procedure that invalidates an old and trusted procedure. This is a problem that I run into periodically, and it makes me feel stupid, and it may make my questions posted to forums seem stupid to others. Other users are new to Apple, its software, its devices, and may have other reasons for asking simple questions. If the question is so simple to you that you don't want to waste your time with it... well... then don't. But don't insult other people who need help. Leave it to those who can take the time to be courteous and helpful. In this case, even though I'm a long-time user, it was responses to really basic questions that led me to the fix for a problem that had been annoying me for weeks.
So, thanks to those of you with simple, basic questions, and thanks also to those of you who helped.

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Hi vvg07,
Thanks for visiting Apple Support Communities.
This article can help with syncing music to your iPhone:
iTunes 11 for Windows: Set up syncing for iPod, iPhone, or iPad
http://support.apple.com/kb/PH12313
Cheers,
Jeremy

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With iTunes 11 you might also have a Home Videos folder inside iTunes Media.
In the simplest cases you copy the entire iTunes folder from <User's Music> on the source computer to <User's Music> on the target machine, install iTunes, and it "just works"TM.
If the media folder (inside the red outline) has been split out to a separate location then you can copy the library folder (outside the red outline) as before and connect the drive holding the media so that it has exactly the same path as before. If the drive appears as D: on one system and E: on the other then the library won't be able to find the media.
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tt2

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If you see a recent backup that you are certain contains the data that you need, recover deleted data from iPhone backup.
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To get to the "Set up assistant" on an iOS device, you must go to Settings>General>Reset>Erase All Content and Settings. Once the phone restarts, you will be at the "Set up Assistant"

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For information on how to sync music read this, this or this.

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Hi
I have a problem with trasferring music from Itunes to Iphone and that is,
as soon as I finish transferring music to my Iphone, Itunes suddenly stops at the stage of where it says (at the top-centre of the screen), 'Sync Min's Iphone'.
Due to this reason, I've restored my Iphone a couple of times and reinstalled itunes but same problem occurs whenever I try to transfer music.
It appears music are successfully transfered since I could play the music on my Iphone but I wanna fix the problem since it's pretty annoying.
is there anything I can do about it?
Thanks
Message was edited by: Minsik Park

Make sure you have the latest version of iTunes (8.2.1?). If so, I'd reinstall iTunes, if the phone is otherwise working fine.
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Hi
I have a problem with trasferring music from Itunes to Iphone and that is,
as soon as I finish transferring music to my Iphone, Itunes suddely stops at the stage of where it says (at the top-centre of the screen), 'Sync Min's Iphone'.
Due to this reason, I've restored my Iphone a couple of times and reinstalled itunes but same problem occurs whenever I try to transfer any music.
It appears music are successfully transfered since I could play the music on my Iphone but I wanna fix the problem since it's pretty annoying.
are there anything I can do about it?
Thanks

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Transfer music from iTunes 11 to iPhone 4s or iPod 4G - Home Sharing

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