Transferring songs from one computer to another without erasing anything

I've read everything here that pertains and don't see my exact problem. I did not realize when I got this iPod the problems involved in using more than one computer, and as a result, I have songs on three computers that I'd like to get into my iPod without erasing what's already there, and without erasing what is in my iTunes library on each computer.
Last night I tried copying the folders/songs I wanted onto an external drive, then copying them to the second computer. I did this in Windows Explorer on both ends, by finding the correct My Documents\My Music\iTunes\iTunes Music file in each computer. I wasn't sure how to move those songs into the second Library, so I chose "add folder" or "add file" from the File menu. It seemed to work beautifully, the songs played, so I plugged the iPod in and it showed that it updated fine. Problem? The songs are not showing up on the iPod itself. Obviously I'm missing a step or two or have done it incorrectly.
If someone could please point me to a step-by-step process for this, I would greatly appreciate it. The only step-by-step explanations I've found here are the ones for putting files on a new computer that doesn't have any songs, by moving the whole My Documents\My Music\iTunes\iTunes Music file, and I believe that would erase what is already on the second computer, isn't that right?
Thanks in advance for any help.

What I meant was that after I get all the music on the iPod and one computer, then I'll use that computer for updating and purchasing new music, keeping it as "automatic,"
Ok, yes that would work.
Here's how to use your iPod to transfer music to another computer.
Once you have all your music on one iTunes library, then you can set it to Auto update.
and only use the other computers for listening without updating.
I'm not too sure on this part. You might be able to play music directly from your iPod when its connected to one of these machines. I've never tried this.
If you're expecting your iPod to sync music back to your iTunes library to play directly from iTunes... then no, that won't work.
Good luck!

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