Trouble loading songs onto iPhone

We have our main library on our home computer, and the entire family of five uses one iTunes account to buy songs from the 5 authorized computers to their respective libraries.
One daughter has a laptop which is one of the 5 authorized computers on the account.
Daughter has an iPhone which we are trying to transfer songs to from either the home library via Home Share (copying directly) or via transferring into her laptop library via Home Share and then dragging to iPhone (note that I am able to plug daughter's iPhone directly into the home computer and drag songs into the phone and then play them from there.)
While we can drag songs into the laptop library any way we want, what we can't do is drag them onto the iPhone to play.
Am I missing something regarding "authorization" or is there some setting that we don't have right?
Thanks,
Mark

On the old version of itunes when i plugged in, an icon saying "Jay's ipod" would come up. now it says HP Administrator comes up when i plug in. Also, I have checked "sync only checked items" and have restored but now i don't get all the checked items and also cannot add my previous playlists. I am manually managing my music and selected on the summary page "sync music" and checked "selected playlists" but i cannot add all those playlists. I'll try again. thanks for your help.

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You should be seeing something like this:
Playlist:
Artist:
Album:

Trouble loading songs onto iPhone

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