Trouble syncing iphone to Itunes; gets stuck at syncing calendar

I am unable to successfully sync my iPhone 4 with iTunes version 11.1.4.62 on my desktop. It gets through 2of7, but gets stuck in various places on 3of7.  First time it got stuck on 'preparing to sync', so I rebooted my phone and computer. Now it goes a little further and gets stuck on 'syncing calendar'.  I've tried 3 times and 1 hour later it's still stuck.

The same thing just happened today only more dramatically with my iphone 3g with itunes 9. Previously everything synced beautifully. Now it deleted all the music and won't let me put it back. It won't let me sync all automatically, sync some manually, or drag and drop. Doesn't seem to matter if I try to move purchased music or ripped cds.
I tried rebooting both the phone and the computer (cold boot). I tried moving some songs to a new playlist and selecting that manually. Nothing worked. The music is still there in itunes . Podcasts don't seem to be affected by the problem, luckily. Audiobooks disappeared once but it let me put them back.
Checked the orange "other" and it is a small amount, one of those little blocks, but I supposedly have 3.26 gb free. The only thing that has happened recently is I ripped about 12 CDs but there's nothing remarkable about that.
Any suggestions welcome.

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