Trying to Sync Multiple Systems

Question

I am having great difficulty with iSync across multliple systems. I will admit that this may be due to my own misconception about what sync is suppose to be so let me explain what I have, what I think should happen then what is happening:
Work Setup: 1 laptop
Home Setup: 1 laptop, 1 desktop
iPhone: of course ...
Having multiple systems is great. A corporate mac laptop keeps me on the move in the office, my private laptop provides me mobility out of the office and my home desktop is where I do most of my work while home. The home desktop has a couple web pages on it, so it is up 24x7. The two laptops come up for periods of time the go down.
Understanding: Turn on sync, settings to automatic, and when I make a change on any one of the systems, it gets immediately pushed to the cloud, to my phone, then back down to the other 2 systems I am not currently on.
Reality: every system fights for superiority over every other system. Every time one of the systems sync, it completely messes everything up. Here is a great example. Friday before leaving the office I created a Group calendar called "Work Group". I placed a couple existing calendars under this group and made a couple new ones. It appeared to sync to my phone OK so I believed all was well. When I got home I discovered that the desktop (which is on 24x7) had not updated based on the information obviously pushed to the cloud by my office machine (I say obviously because it did make it to my phone). When the synchronization did appear on the desktop, 2 of the work Calendars were moved into a new Group called "Group". When I checked on the cloud by logging into my mobile me account - I couldn't even recognize the format the calendars were online. Having to have brought my work laptop home for the weekend I looked at it and WTH? The calendars on that machine looked exactly like the calendars on my desktop before it did a partial sync. Now the work laptop fired a sync and it warned that there were numerous conflicts that had to be manually resloved. Surprise surprise, same thing on the desktop.
It would seem to me a simple thing to flag records that hand changed and Synchronize only those records updating the cloud. But, it appears that the entire calendar database is being pushed by every machine every time it synchronizes. So it is a push more than a sync. This is quite infuriating.
I find it hard to believe that Apple could have made such an egregious error in programming logic so I can only come to two possible conclusions. (A) My expectations and configuration settings are incorrect or (B) Apple is hiring Microsoft employees. God oh God please let it be (A).
Can someone provide insight?

Answer 1

iSync is only for syncing Contacts and Calendars to non-Apple mobile phones via a local USB or Bluetooth connection.
http://www.apple.com/macosx/features/isync/index.html
iSync does not sync anything between Macs, the iPhone, or to the MobileMe 'cloud'.
(The only connection iSync has with the above, is providing a UI to turn on system-wide syncing and to reset it.)
Rather than iSync, what you are using is MobileMe Sync, and the forum for that is here:
http://discussions.apple.com/forum.jspa?forumID=957
How you expect the syncing between multiple Macs and your iPhone is exactly how it should be working, and is designed to work. So something in your particular setup is not right.
I'd suggest posting in the above linked forum where all the MobileMe Sync gurus should be able to help.