Turning off wifi-sync

I know other people have posted questions about this topic, but nobody seems to be having the exact issue I am.
Hardware is MacBook and iPhone outlined below, and iTunes version 10.6.1(7) running.
My issue is as follows. My iPhone did not back up for around 3 days on wifi. As most posts here suggest, I simply unchecked the 'sync over wifi' box on iTunes, and clicked apply.  After this, my phone has not been detected by my computer.
I have tried power cycling both phone and computer, with wifi on the phone both on and off, but my phone will not show up in iTunes when connected by a cable.
Many other posts here suggest that under the phone's Settings - General - iTunes wifi sync tab there should be a slider to turn the option off. All I have is a button (shaded out) saying 'sync now' and a message that my sync will resume once my MacBook Pro is reconnected.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Hi i have the same problem ,,my iphone just apears like a gohst on my mac itunes and then it disappears !!
and i get the message it will sync when my mac is connected!
i have tried everything out there in discussion groups nothing worked....
but you can try those,,maybe they work for you...
sign out of your apple ID on both your iphone and mac ituens store ,,and check that there no other macbook onder wif-sync ( maybe you have synced your phone with another computer ! -if that is the issue, you have to connect your phone via cable to that computer and uncheck wifi syn and deauthorize that computer for your phone )
- if there is only you own macbook under syn menue-then just log out all your apple ID -quite itunes are reload it again - connect your phone via cable and under infor check sync over wifi-the disconnect your phone -quite itune- and after 1 minute or so open itunes again -----
it souns stupid -but some of the users said it worked for them,,,but i still have the problem even i restore it to factory set up twice !!

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