Two iphones and two macs advice

I am looking for some advice on the best way to set up my iPhone and my wife's iPhone for syncing.
I am currently putting all of our music cd's (several hundred) on my wife's brand new iMac (which has much more storage than my brand new MacBook Air). I have already set up my iPhone to sync to my Air and currently my wife's iPhone is not yet set up to sync anywhere. I have read quite a few of the posts here so I understand that I could have both iPhones synched to one computer but I would really prefer to sync my iPhone to my Air and my wife to sync her iPhone to her iMac (and really would also prefer that she have her own Apple account and me mine; which we do have right now; I set mine up right away after getting the Air and I just recently set up my wife's).
All of this would not be a problem except for one item: we have a ton of music and I would rather not have to have it all in two places: on her iMac and on my Air. I may not even have enough disk space for all of it; this is why I chose my wife's iMac for the music.
Thus: is it possible to somehow "share the music" while still keeping our iPhones, Macs and Apple accounts separate?
I checked out the "Home iTunes sharing" and based on what I saw there, this will only work if we, once again, share an Apple account.
Would it be possible, for example to put the music on a neutral storage device (say on an external disk) which both computers could access (for example on my home network---say an NFS exported partition) and then import the songs into iTunes on both computers?
Any guidance to resolve this would be appreciated!
Thanks!
..billg

IIn iMessage settings on each phone, decide which addresses/numbers you want the phone to receive (look for the send/receive item). Untick the phone number of the OTHER phone in each case.
Matt

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