Two macs -- one iTunes account -- one mobileme account

ok, so i hope i can get my question across correctly. thanks in advance for those of you that help. i have a macbook pro, along with an iPhone and an iPad. my husband has an iMac and an iPad. we both want to be able to use the same iTunes account but we both want to be able to sync our iPad's & iPhone to our own computers. we both also want to sync in mobileme. my questions:
1. how do we sync both computers to one iTunes account?
2. do we both need to have a separate mobileme account?

This might be just the place to post my question.
First, I'm on Windows Vista ... not a mac ... and I do not own MobleMe ... wondering if someone has suggestios for me concernign sharing an iTunes account between me and my wife.
Currently, my wife and I have separate Windows Logons ... and we each have our own respective iTunes account.   She syncs her iTunes with her iPhone, and I sync my iTunes with my iPad and iPhone.
I'm interesting in merging our separate iTunes accounts into one for the purpose of not having to purchase duplicate apps that we each will be wanting in the future.  (She doesn't know it yet, but she's going to get her own iPad for a surprise present.)
Looks like we are going to repurchase all her paid apps and place those into my account ... (she has fewer paid apps than I have, and that seems to be the least expensive way to start off.)
So... Here's my question:
Is it better to have her sign off permantly from her installed iTunes Account, and sign back on as "me" ... then download all the apps I have already bought that she wants?   ( I.e.  have two separate iTunes installations - both using the same login ID and password ... but personally configured to our liking).
... OR ...
Is it better to delete her installation of her iTunes Account and just start using mine ... again configured to her liking by checking which apps should install her her devices and which should be installed to my devices?
=============
Right now, she has her own music and I have mine ...
I'm open to any suggestions about PROs and CONs of each method ...
Thanks for sharing

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