Two Macs syncing iCal problems

I have an Intel iMac at the office and a G4 Powerbook at home. I want to sync iCal on both computers and also sync to my iphone. On both computers, iCal takes forever to sync (if it does) and seems to stall or hang up the computer while syncing. How can I erase all events in iCal or make it faster to speed up syncing?
I also have way too many contacts in address book transferred from Filemaker Pro. Searching is painful on the iPhone.

The fundamental issue here with synchronizing your calendaring data is that the iPhone, and its iTunes interface to the synchronization framework, are not intended by Apple to be synchronized to more than one Macintosh desktop or portable machine. This is true of all Mac OS X synchronization processes: a device like an iPhone is not meant to serve as a 'data carrier' between computers, and places your data at substantial risk.
Instead, you should synchronize your computers using .Mac Sync or use a third-party solution like SyncTogether™ from Mark/Space.

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