Unable to manually manage music and videos on iPhone 4 without erase and sync, same computer!

Ok, so I know you all have heard this before but I do believe my case is rather unique, and quite frustrating.
I purchased an iPhone 4 and synced it to the same computer I am using now - created the playlist and used it to sync with phone. Worked great for awhile; but one day I contracted some nasty malware and had to wipe my computer and reinstall my OS (Windows 7). Albeit my music library was on my external HDD which survived the onslaught. I obviously had to reinstall iTunes afterwards. The playlist was gone on reinstall.
Afterwards I still didn't see an issue with my iPhone and iTunes: When I plug it in it syncs, everything seems to be working accordingly.
But I recently transferred some new music from a CD to my iTunes and wanted to throw those songs on my iPhone, the drag and drop method I was so very used to did not work and I noticed that "manually manage music and videos" was uncheck under my devices summary.
When I attempt to check this option in iTunes it gives me a popup notification telling me I need to erase and sync in order to use this option because my 'iPhone is synced with another library". Again, I DID have to reinstall iTunes after reinstalling my OS.
I have tried all the tricks that google could supply me with with no avail; authorizing, stopping the sync from automatically starting.... yada yada - none of these cookie cutter methods have worked for me.
Here's a too long didn't read:
>iPhone 4 was working fine - used playlist to sync with.
>Had to reinstall OS (Windows 7) Playlist gone.
>Reinstall iTunes.
>iPhone still syncs with library, no error messages on connect.
>Unable to manually manage music and videos without erase and sync.
>None of the usual methods work.

Hmm, I will say after posting this and looking at the related threads it seems I can only either use manually manage or sync.
I was using sync before but since the playlist disappeared I was syncing with I simply want to add music to my phone without deleting everything. Is this possible?
If I use "manually manage music and videos" will it delete everything or just the music and videos? It doesn't specify...
Could I just create a new playlist and sync it with that? If so how?
The bottom line is it isn't that big of a deal if I need to simply rebuild my iPhone music library but losing my configuration, contacts etc is not an option. Optimally I would just like to be able to add my new music to my iPhone without having to rebuild my library.

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