Up-to-date contacts on iPhone and MobileMe won't won't update the Mac

Hi,
I just got an iPhone GS and there's a glitch that's driving me mad. (I had an iPod Touch before this so it's not all new.)
First of all I had duplicate Calendars and Contacts ("On my Mac" and MobileMe) so deleted those on my mac by following the instructions here: http://discussions.apple.com/thread.jspa?threadID=1922950 which just left MobileMe.
After a bit of fiddling and resetting the Calendars now work so that when I update the iPhone it appears on the Mac, and vice versa.
However, this is not the case with Contacts, and since repeating the process (resetting the Mac, deleting on iPhone and starting again) now if I make changes to contacts on the iPhone they do update MobileMe, but MobileMe does not update the Mac. When I update MobileMe on the website it won't update the Mac either.
I've done everything I can think of/have read about and would really love to get this working as it should.
Many thanks,
D

Yet more information:
I went ahead and clicked "Replace" and then got the following error message:
"You are attempting to reset Contacts on MobileMe from this computer.
Contacts have recently been reset on Mobileme. Are you sure you want to reset the Contacts on MobileMe?"
But nothing changed (didn't even lose the up-to-date contact changes on the iPhone) but then I get the error messages again and again and again...
Please help!
Thanks,
D

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