Update deleted everything on iphone and itunes

updated iphone to 4.2.1 and it cleared all my sms and contacts like a new phone. i updated itunes and it cleared my itunes folder like an empty library, with no apps or anything. just have the names of albums and songs but no artwork.
Called apple and they said nothing they can do sorry for the inconvienence. There must of been a problem with the installation. over 20gb of music and 2 years worth of texts and contacts.
There must be another way of finding them? other than checking previous backup date as thats deleted as well. appreciate all help, thanks

All of my contacts suddently disappeared on my iPhone! One evening they were there, the next morning they weren't!! Over 400+ contacts...
I can't find them anywhere!

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