Updating a iPhone 3GS - problems

I have bought an old iPhone 3GS for my daughter and it had no wifi showing.  I was advised to do a software update via iTunes however it is now stuck on the iTunes connect / connected page.  If i connect to iTunes it scans and then an error message appears on the itunes page saying "sorry we cant continue with your connection at this time"
If i switch the phone off and back on i am still stuck in the itunes set up - can anyone advise me? Before at least it was a working phone with internet connection now it won't do anything!!  Thanks

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    If you are using Windows...
    Try temporarily disabling your firewall and antivirus software and try again...
    See here for Connection Issues
    http://support.apple.com/kb/TS1379
    From Here
    http://www.apple.com/support/itunes/troubleshooting/

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