Updating my iPod touch 4th gen to iOS5 - I'm having trouble with syncing in general.

I first synced my iPod touch to my old computer on iTunes, and then I got my laptop and I downloaded iTunes, plugged in my iPod, and use it to download music. But the old computer broke, and we got a new one, with a different hardrive and everything. I didn't mind, because I was content with just using iTunes on my laptop for searching for and downloading music. The iOS 5 update came out, and at first I wasn't bothered, but now it seems to be hindering the performance of iTunes in general, as I can't download music off my computer - it keeps coming up with Error 13019.
I looked on tons of support forums, and they all mentioned syncing music and apps. I didn't think that would be a problem, but whenever I tick the box saying 'sync music', the memory bar goes RIGHT DOWN, as if it's deleting all the songs I got off CDs, which I don't want, and whenever I tick the box saying 'sync apps', it comes up with all the apps I had a few months ago, missing out all of the apps I have now, which would no doubt delete my progress on them.
I've even tried just clicking 'sync' on the main device page, but it just comes up with Error 13019.
And every time I right click on my iPod's name to click 'back up' as many of the forums said, iTunes freezes and nothing happens for about 10 minutes, and I end up having to force close it on the task manager. This has happened 4 times already. -_- I've even updated iTunes to the most recent version, but nothing's changed.
I'm scared to update my iPod, because of course it says it will delete everything, and there's no way I can back things up or sync them without them getting deleted.
Any suggestions on what the heck I should do? By the way, I'm an amateur in the technology world, so please don't use too many fancy words. =)

Try here first to get rid of the error:
iTunes: Error 13019 during sync
Then you should be ablt to make the backup. Just not that the backup that iTunes makes does not insluced synced media like apps and music.
iTunes: About iOS backups
- You can transfer iTunes purchases to the new computer by:
iTunes Store: Transferring purchases from your iOS device or iPod to a computer
- For other music you will need a third-party program like one of those discussed here. Google for more.
Copy music

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