Updating/synchronizing takes forever and never succeeds

Hi! I have had my Iphone 3G a year now and I have never succeeded to update it. I have tried many many times, but I've always given up since it wont work. It takes forever, literally, to upgrade it. Last night I thought I'd give it another try. I hooked up my phone to my computer and pressed the update button. This morning, after eight hours, nothing had happened. It still said it was synchronizing and I had synchronized it just prior to the update. I have the latest version of ITunes and I am using the USB 2 port on the back of my computer. Why won't it work? I don't want to reset my phone and lose everything on it.
Anyone?

Problem resolved.
I did another try yesterday to export a backup for my new snow leopard ical data and try to import it again. it takes a long time and never complete. so I believe it has nothing to do with the cross plaform or different version of ical.
So I re-install the ical application again from the installation disc. it works perfect afterward. I think the first installation was missing some file.

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