Updating to ios 6 and now my phone isn't recoignized.

i was getting the new software update (ios 6) for my iphone (4) when it suddenly said there was an error. now itunes says it sensed an iphone in recovery mode. it then told me i should restore it to factory settings which erase all my media and other data but that i can restore my contacts, calendars, text messages and other settings later. i'm really freaking out. it doesn't even recoignize my iphone like normal (it just says "iphone" versus "katie's iphone"). i also just read a thread that said people are losing their text messages when they restore from their back ups and i REALLY can't lose my text messages. i am totally not computer savvy so please dumb your answers down as much as possible.
thank you.

If your phone is in recovery mode, all data is lost.  You should have backed up your phone before any major change, including a software upgrade.  You've no choice but to restore your phone, which will wipe it completely (again, your data's already gone).  Then restore from your most recent backup.

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