Upgrade to iTunes 11 has disabled Manually Manage Music option

After upgrading to iTunes 11, it has now removed the option to 'Manually manage music' when I connect my iPhone (4S). Previously I manage all my playlists and keep them up-to-date, but found this morning I now cannot add anything to the phone,,,
Each time I tick the box and click apply, it warns me that it ERASE the entire iPhone - Not what I wanted to hear!
Is there any way to bring this back inline, it also warns me that the phone is synced to another iTunes library (techincally correct but this is the previous version that it recommended me to upgrade from... Are they serious!?)
PLEASE HELP!
I want to avoid resetting the phone and letting them win.... again! I can't put into words how frustrating this :-/
*I'm running Windows 7 64-bit with an iPhone 4S, and in the UK.
Many thanks...!
Chris

I have an iPhone 5, same happened to me. I need to erase and resync my phone, loosing all playlists and ratings in the process. Music that I wanted in my iTunes but not my iPhone will now also be re-added.
I'm really over having to spend hours reloading my phone and playlists how I like them everytime Apple decides to unleash a dud update. I've literally spent thousands of dollars for the convenience of keeping my music and phone life in one place over the years, but that conveneince is now outweighed by Apple's user unfriendly approach to their software updates.
My next update will be away from Apple.

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