Using an Apple Keyboard in Windows

So it's a pretty commonly known issue that the function keys on the Apple Wireless keyboard don't do a thing in Windows. Is there some way. I'm using Windows 8.1 on an Windows PC, not a Mac, so I don't have access to the Boot Camp drivers. Is there some workaround? I'd really really like them to behave completely normally and use the Windows GUI for volume selection and music controls.
It seems pretty sub par that I've payed for a keyboard that really should work fine on Windows but that is missing basic functionality. I don't know if the problem is being caused on Microsoft's or Apple's end, though I suspect either could fix it easily and make the keyboard work with full functionality on connection without any hassle.
I found an install link to the Apple Wireless Keyboard drivers that I believe come with bootcamp and did that but the drivers are now just sitting in Device Manager not doing anything. To be more specific, in Device Manager, under Bluetooth there is 'Apple Wireless Keyboard' but under Keyboards is 'HID Keyboard Device' which is the default driver Windows appears to be using.
So yeah, I'd love some help.
Thanks

Yes..I know.   There are still people buying Apple devices for use with Windows and I want Google searches to find this page.  Apple doesn't support these devices outside of Boot Camp.  And after using Boot Camp for years, I can tell you they don't work too well in Boot Camp either.  Apple's crappy drivers were designed to paint Windows in the palest light possible.  It was a cheap charlatan's trick.
Apple sure has changed recently.  I remember a time when Mac Pro's had tons of expansion capabilities and Mac Book Pros had great graphics.  iPhones were small and elegant, not the of Android shape of today - an overused bar of soap.  I remember a time when iPad was the future of computing...not a the quickly stagnant coffee table computer with shrinking sales - the Netbook of this decade.  My Apple keyboard is the last Apple product I'm still using...my fingers still like it despite the failings.  But it too is starting to wear on me.  Why can't Apple get even this right?  A simple keyboard?  It's depressing.

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