Using correct ISP settings, "can't get mail, connection to the srvr failed"

Hi
I just bought this iphone and it's working great synching with my exchange server (work email account), and with my go daddy server (hobby email account), but it wont get mail from my home ISP email account.
I've got the incomming and outgoing server names right, even changed the port to a number the ISP recommended. For some reason, the ISP tech guys knew it would be problematic- and they said if you have problems, contact AT&T or Apple directly.
Anyone have any thoughts about how to get my phone to connect to my home isp server?

Does the SMTP server for this email account require authentication and if not, it seems authentication for the SMTP server has been enabled based on the error message provided. If authentication for the SMTP server is not supported/required, try selecting None for authentication but this will likely be a problem when trying to send messages with this account unless you are connected to a wi-fi network with your ISP as the internet service provider for the wireless network.

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