Using Mail - items being marked as read before I have read them

Hi
How do I stop Mail marking an item as read as soon as I move the cursor away from it in the ail listing? Just because it is shown in the preview pane does not mean I have read it yet.
In Outlook I can change a setting so that items are not marked a s read until I double click them to open them fully and read them - how do I do the same in Mail?
Also if I delete an item from the list, the cursor moves UP to the previous item (I have ordered the list so that newest mail is at the top. I then start reading from the top down..). Can I change a setting somewhere to move the cursor the other way after processing an email?
Many thanks

The only way to have it not be marked as read is to turn the preview pane off (then you double-click each message to open/read it).

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This reply to is to correct the title of my question. It should read "Mail is being marked as UNREAD" after I have read it"

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