Using multiple devices in iTunes, each with different iTunes accounts

My husband and I are trying to go from 2 computers to 1 in the house, but cannot figure out how we can run iTunes on one computer, with multiple iTunes accounts and NOT download each others apps, music etc automatically. My son also has an ipod which I want to have as a separate account.
We still want to be able to share some of the downloads amongst each other - but selectively, and not have them automatically downloaded as they would if there were all on the one library / account.
From what I can see on the online forums I can create a new library for each device to stop the automatic transfer of purchases, but then cannot find how we can select what we do and dont want to share amongst each other, or if this is even possible with multiple libraries.
Is there a way that I can do all of the following:
Have multiple devices on 1 computer in iTunes
Each device has its own iTunes account
Each device retains its own library
Each device can select what purchases we want to share amongst the devices, without it automatically transferring onto each device?
Many thanks!

Have a read here...
https://discussions.apple.com/message/18409815?ac_cid=ha
And See Here...
How to Use Multiple iDevices with One Computer
There is also this > cnettv.cnet.com/use-two-iphones-one-computerl

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http://support.apple.com/kb/HT4627
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Using multiple devices in iTunes, each with different iTunes accounts

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