Using multiple iPhone's on one iTunes account

Hello, im not sure if this has been asked, i had a quick look but couldnt get a 100% answer.
My wife and i have 2 iPhones using one iTunes account, both have been updated to iOS5. We both can use iCloud and all the new features of iOS5.
When both iPhone's were set up i sent an iMessage to one of my contacts, they recieved the message and replied, the reply came in and was recieved on both iPhones. I know you can turn off in settings on the iPhone that i do not want to recieve the reply to but in doing so i will turn off iMessage on that iPhone.
On my iPhone i set up iCloud with my default iTunes email, and my wifes set up a new @me account. This has over come the problem of using Find My Friends App, so now she can have her own account.
Now if her contacts do not have her @me email in thier contact for her, she will not be able to utilise iMessage from iPhone to iPhone. Then comes the issue with making purchases on her iPhone as she is logged in under her @me, but purchases must be made with my email account so i can also have the purchases. Now your prob saying just log into my account when making purchases, but if she does iCloud won't work due to the app was not purchased using the same email address.
All i want to be able to do is use 2 iPhones on one iTunes account, be able to have seperate Find My Friends set up, both be able to have each others purchases, both use iMessage to each other and friends, both use seperate iCloud accounts.
If i am doing something wrong please let me know, or if you know how to do it.
My other theory is, i have added a different @me account to my iTunes account, could i set her iPhone up using this account, seeing that this one is linked to my original acount?

The Apple account used for iCloud can be different than that used by the App Store. In other words, your wife can use her own iCloud account and use your Apple ID for the App Store and thus you can share apps. To change the App Store ID, go to Settings/Store and tap on the Apple ID. Then tap Sign out, then log back in using you Apple ID.

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