Using wifi sync always opens iTunes when leaving standby

I've successfully setup sync over wifi, but am finding one aspect a bit annoying.
If my phone is charging and connected to the wireless, and my computer has gone into standby, when I wake the computer up, the first thing that happens is iTunes opens and tries to sync with my phone. I assume the same thing would happen coming out of hibernate or when turning the computer on.
I would either like to turn off the "automatic" aspect of syncing (so that I have to initiate a sync either from the phone or from iTunes) or make it so it only automatically syncs if iTunes is already open or is opened by my manually. Basically, I don't want iTunes opening unless I tell it to.
But, no matter how I adjust my settings, only one of two things happens: (1) it behaves the way I described above, or (2) wifi syncing is completely disabled, meaning I can only sync by connecting over a wire.
Any suggestions?

I had done all of it but I did restart the PC and the IPad just to make sure I had not missed anything. ITunes simply does not launch when the IPad is connected to power. The Sync Now remains greyed out if ITunes is not running. I know ITunes can see the IPad because when I launch it, it does come up with the IPad icon on the left menu. The IPad also shows the correct computer name to connect to. Everything works fine but it requires I manually launch ITunes.
I know the Apple instructions indicate this is necessary but I have seen postings here and else where where people claim it will launch automatically and that they can initiate ITunes launch and sync wirelessly without being plugged in. I was hoping to see if others are having this problem or if Apple knows of a bug in how it works. Thanks for your help, perhaps someone knows how to fix this.
If I could somehow start ITunes automatically that would also help. I usually do all my syncs, backups, etc at night. If I could plug in the IPad and then have ITunes launch itself some time at night, it would probably sync and in the morning I would be good to go.

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Using wifi sync always opens iTunes when leaving standby

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