Vista SP1 will not install, error 0x800f0826. Fix It tools will not run.

I am trying to upgrade a laptop all the way to Vista SP2, I first need to install SP1. It will not install and after Step 3 or 3, 100%, reverts stating error
0x800f0826.
The common cause, looking online, is a previous failed Windows update.
On this laptop there are no updates listed at all in Windows updates, none listed as pending, installed or hidden. It is as though Windows update has no history yet it tells me
it is up to date and there are no updates available.  
I have tried a huge variety of Microsoft FixIt tools from various KB articles to try and solve this and this provides my other clue as 100% all Fix it tools fail.
If I could work out what causes them to fail, I might have more insight to the failed SP1. 
Running any Microsoft "fixit" tool comes up with  
 "Troubleshooting cannot continue because an error has occurred we're sorry but the program encountered an error and can not continueplease
try again later. To download a utility to troubleshoot this problem click here." Clicking just downloads a Cab file full of PowerShell commands and xml files. (DIAG_MATS_NETWORK_global.DiagCab) which does
not seem to work with the Microsoft Diagnostic Toolkit.
If anyone can help me get the Fix It tools working then I might stand a chance to get the rest working.
Thanks
Michael Jenkin (Mickyj) www.mickyj.com (Community website) - SBS MVP (2004 - 2008) *5 times Microsoft MVP award winner *Previously MacWorld Australia contributer *Previously APAC Vice Chairman Culminis (Pro IT User group support system)* APAC chairman GITCA
*Director Business Technology Partners, Microsoft Small Business Specialist, SMB150 2012 Member

Hi,
Please try the following:
1. Temporarily disable all the third party security programs, install it in Clean Boot.
How to perform a clean boot to troubleshoot a problem in Windows 8, Windows 7, or Windows Vista
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/929135/en-us
2. Download and install the System Update Readiness Tool and check if it can help.
System Update Readiness Tool fixes Windows Update errors in Windows 7, Windows Vista, Windows Server 2008 R2, and Windows Server 2008
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/947821/en-us
If this does not solve your problem, please upload %systemroot%\WindowsUpdate.log to SkyDrive and post the link here.
Tracy Cai
TechNet Community Support

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