W530 with windows 8.1 - how to enter Lenovo settings app?

I made the big mistake of putting 8.1 on my W530.  I have manged to banish 99% of metro and its apps, to turn the machine back into a developers work station, but one thing I have not worked out how to deal with is the levovo settings.  I can launch it, and it launches a metro window, but it says "an update is available for this app" or simlar, and gives a ok and cancel button. Theither buttons are clickable, and there is no way to "exit" or run this app, or to update it. I have all automatic updates switched on, but I can find no way to actaully update this god forsaken metro abomination to use it.
I would pay if someone brought out the essential lenovo apps as proper desktop apps for windows 8, like they are for windows 7.  Why would lenovo abandon its desktop power users?

When you start Lenovo Settings for the first time, it will notify you of the missing dependency package and launch your default browser straight to its download location. But since you removed 99% of the ModernUI apps, I'm guessing you broke some links in the process, thus it doesn't launch for you.
To my knowledge, the TVSU doesn't fetch this package, and shouldn't, because not everyone uses the Lenovo Settings app, and therefore it's controlled by the Settings app itself through its Auto-Update functionality.
ThinkPad W540 (20BG) - i7-4800MQ/24GB // ThinkPad T440s (20AQ) - i7-4600U/12GB
ThinkPad T440p (20AW) - i7-4800MQ/16GB // ThinkPad Helix (3698-6EU) - i5-3337U/4GB
ThinkPad W520 (4282-W4Q) - i7-2720QM/32GB // ThinkPad T400 (2767-W1C) - P9500/8GB
ThinkPad T61 (7665-CTO) - T7700/4GB // ThinkPad T60p (8741-C2G) - T7400/4GB

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