We have 3 iPads and 2 iPhones, how do we sync without losing data?

If this message appears twice, apologies, as it disappeared just as I was about to submit (so may have gone, or may not...)
Hi,
Help for apple Luddite, please.
I have an ipad2, iPhone 4S, my eldest son has an ipad2 and iPhone 3GS, and my youngest son has an ipad2.
They are all on my account.
Now, my address book keeps disappearing and being replaced by that of my eldest son, and my iMessages can sometimes be seen by either of my sons.
Can we set up separate contact books and iMessage accounts but still share photos, music, video and apps?
Thanks in anticipation,
Peter

Welcome to the discussions,
here's how to back up manually to save your data:
Set up your iTunes account and authorize your computer, disable autosync in itunes, connect your phone, right click on it in the device list and choose backup.
This will save data, pictures taken with the phone and settings to itunes. See what's included in this backup here: http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1766
Transfer your purchases the same way, choosing "transfer purchases this time, to copy all apps and bought media from the Store to your computer.
Set up at least one contact and event on your computer to be able the merge your calendars and contacts after your phone got wiped during the first sync.
The rest of the data can be restored from the backup you made.
Restoring: http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1414
Apps can be downloaded again for free, http://support.apple.com/kb/HT2519

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