What do I press to sync the iphone

My phone won't sync automatically.  Is there something I can press to show my phone icon on the screen?  Once I see the phone icon I feel certain I can get it to sync.  I'm a rank beginner at all this.  Many thanks for any help.

To sync
FIrst, you need to have iTUnes on your computer. (the latest is 11.03 I believe)
Open iTunes and connect your iPhone.
After a minute or so you should see your iPhone appear in iTunes. You may need to tweak the defaults for iTunes. Control B brings up the menu bar (the familiar file, edit, etc along the top) and control S will bring up the sidebar. In that sidebar you will see the name of your iPhone.
Click on the name of your iPhone and you should see a summary page. On that will be info about your device. Its serial number, what operating system it's running, etc.
Scroll down on that summary page and you'll see syncing options. One of them is to 'sync automatically when connected to iTUnes'. THere will also be an option to sync wirelessly.
make the choices you want then sync. You have to make a sync to affirm those choices.
Here's a detailed step by step
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1386

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