What should i do first? I was trying to update the iPad when it failed.

During the update it failed and wiped the iPad back to the factory setings, erasing the pictures of my recently pasted away daughter. Is there anyway to save these pictures before having iTunes do a restore? I bought this iPad from the online store on Nov. 26, 2010 and it was suppose to have the 4.2 version but it did not and that is why i was trying to update. It had the system almost backed up when i walked away for a second and when i returned my iPad had the USB and Itunes face like when i originally recieved it. How would i find that backed up materials, as well?

Yes I transferred them from the camera connection. The pictures that I did not have backed up were those of my friends to that were going back home out of state and they let me copy the pictures they had taken. Also I ws worried about the pictures that I edited with Photoshop app and saved. This would of been the first time I had the oppurtunity to save them to my computer. At this point I don't think I have any other choice but to do the iTunes restore and update and hope the back up completed and whatever it was suppose to do after that is what failed. Thank you for your help.
Background: we had twins, a boy and a girl, and at birth my little girl passed away. We were able to hold her for a while and have family and friends come in and give us their support. My day was split between being there for my wife, spending preciuos time with my daughter and running to another room to make sure my little boy was going to be okay. We spent two weeks in the hospital and are now home. After the funeral I was showing family and friends the pictures that I had taken and put on the iPad. That is when they offered their pictures and I have no idea if they still have them.

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