When I try to delete a song from my ipad, why does it still show up as being on it in iTunes?

Just like the question says, Ive deleted the songs from the ipad and when i look in the ipad, they show up grey.

You don't need to delete them form iTunes on your computer. Notice the dotted circles next to the songs. That indicates that the songs are essentially in limbo. They may not be on your iPad or they might appear in the Music app but will not play.
Sometimes unsyncing those songs will totally remove those ghost traces of the music nd sometimes, you have to restore the iPad to get rid of those traces of the songs.
If you Google "grey dotted circles next to songs in iTunes" you will find a plethora of articles that talk about this.

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