When the wife gets a call or facetime request  my phone also get it . how can i stop this ?

when my wife gets a facetime request or a phone call my phone also rings . how can i stop this ?

That is a new Continuity feature described in Connect your iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, and Mac using Continuity - Apple Support
You can turn it off by going to Settings > FaceTime and changing "iPhone Cellular Calls" to off.
You may also want to consider using separate Apple IDs. That is more flexible now with new Family Sharing features: http://www.apple.com/ios/whats-new/family-sharing/

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