When try 4.0 update, stuck on backing up iPhone and won't update

I have tried to update my iPhone to 4.0. Each time I do it gets stuck on "Backing up iPhone" which it evidently needs to do before updating the software. I have left the phone syncing for hours and there is not change, no increase in the amount backed up. I've tried deleting photos text messages, etc to make less stuff to back up and there is no difference. Ideas?

"...There may be third-party software installed that modifies your default packet size in Windows by inserting a TcpWindowSize entry into your Registry. If your default packet size is set incorrectly it can cause this error. Contact the manufacturer of the software that installed the packet size modification for assistance.?
Ok, since APPLE is supposed to be so great, and it had SEVEN HOURS to finally create and display an error during the update which displayed the above message... WHY CAN'T IT TELL YOU WHICH APP OR PROGRAM IT CAUSING THE PROBLEM???
So I have spent over 24 hours of actual Update Time and many more hours trying various solutions to make THEIR crap work. I had to spend 14 hours on my daughters IPOD and my wife then had to take to the Apple Store. These "Genius" idiots had them there for over four hours and had no solution!!!
I never had to do that even when I did have trouble with Blackberry or Windows Mobile.
Apple's self absorbed and pompous attitude just lost them my business because they want me to serve them instead of the other way around.
Apple products are terrific, but are replaceable with comparably operating non-apple equipment and software at a MUCH LOWER PRICE, and do not take HOURS of time to try to make function on stuff that should be easy.
Apple's m a r k e t i n g is the best thing about Apple. Too bad.

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