Which contact name appears for SMS?

In my address book I have a contact called "ICE (Emergency Contact)" which includes the phone numbers of the people closest to me in case I'm in an accident and someone else has my iPhone. All of the people included in "ICE" also have their own separate entries in address book.
Unfortunately, whenever I receive an SMS or call from anyone in "ICE", the phone reports them as "ICE", instead of finding their separate personal entry in address book.
Is there any way I can control how the phone indexes the calling/smsing number into my contact list so I can see who's calling?

Perhaps you could try an ICE application for the phone, like one of these:
http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewSoftware?id=282737873&mt=8
http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewSoftware?id=306199819&mt=8
http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewArtist?id=284936204

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