Why can I chat with a buddy but not add them to my Buddy list?

I'm using iChat 4.0.2 with OS 10.5.2.
I add a particular buddy to my list but the name fades in and out and then disappears all together in a few seconds. No matter how many times and ways I try, I cannot add them to my buddy list and get them to stay. I can add other buddies to my list normally.
During the time I can see this particular buddy's name in my buddy list, if I'm quick enough before they fade out, I can click to connect and chat perfectly. I can also request to view video with them and have them accept and view normally. However, if this buddy sends a video request to me, I hear the ring but then an instantaneous message window appears saying that the buddy "cancelled the invitation".
Interestingly, after connecting with this particular buddy, I can maintain their text chat window and text chat as normal. This buddy is using iChat 3.1.9 and OS 10.4.11.
Any help or ideas with how to keep this buddy in my list would be appreciated.

Interesting.
I would have gone the iChat > Preferences > Accounts > Security and just checked the Block list first.
com.apple.ichat.Subnet holds the sort order and Allow/Block lists
Setting the Preference to Allow All and then checking the Allow option and possibly the Block list would change the Subnet.plist anyway.
For some the Flashing/disappearing Buddy is a result of iChat 4's response to Feedbag Error 10
Feedbag errors are AIM codes for problems with the Buddy List.
In this case it is adding a Screen name with a Real name option and that Real Name is already in the Address Book.
To restate.
I would leave the deletion of com.apple.ichat.Subnet.plist (as this will remove all those that may be in your Block list) until all other options have been exhausted.
8:15 PM Sunday; June 15, 2008

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