Why can't I connect Mail on ports 25 and 110?

Loaded the security update the other day, and two days later I can't download or receive email (access to the Internet is fine through our router). But it didn't happen immediately, and the ability to send mail disappeared after the receiving of email stopped.
The messages are "The server "smtp.surfcity.net" cannot be contacted on port 25" and "The server "pop3.surcity.net" cannot be contacted on port 110."
Connection Doctor says I'm connecting to the Internet, but the "Assist Me" button is inactive (greyed out) and both red lights are on.
I have not changed any info in my account, which seems fine. What I have tried (unsuccessful results) is to unplug the router and connect directly to the DLS modem, thus eliminating the old router as the problem; turned off both the router and Mac firewalls; called my ISP tech support (not a Mac-friendly guy); tried to create a new (duplicate) account (but the pop3 server couldn't be accessed, so I didn't get far); repaired permissions; defragged the hard drive of my brand-new Mini.
The email is totally accessible on the Internet, but I can't get Mail and the ISP's system to communicate.
I'm an intermediate operator in most cases, but routers and servers are an area I'm not familiar with. Any strategies?
Mac Mini 80G HD Superdrive   Mac OS X (10.4.9)   LaCie 250 G Firewire hard drive

Thanks for all your help -- I already had tried what David suggested, and the telnet trick is a good one I'll remember.
The dufus tech support guy was too lazy to check his own servers, which needed resetting. I arrived at this conclusion on Saturday night after eliminating the router and both computers as culprits, and the ISP -- Surfcity is normally outstanding, so this laziness was a true surprise -- confirmed it on Monday, when my email began working again.
Sorry to have bothered you guys for naught -- but I learned something, which was good. Thanks again.
Larry

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