Why can't I turn iMessage off on iPad 4?

I have iMessage off on iPhone 4S because so many of my friends/contacts are not on iMessage. Most because they can't have it.
Now I bought an iPad 4. When I turn off iMessage , a sign in screen covers my messages screen. And I have to sign in if I want to send any messages at all. As soon as I sign on the screen of course goes away but then it has turned iMessage back on
My son has an iPad 3. He is able to turn off iMessage and has no problem.
What am I doing incorrectly?
I tried deleting network and reestablishong. And turning iPad off after I turn iMessage off, waiting 30 seconds and rebooting. It does not help
Oh I have my iCloud email addrrss, and regular email address setup for messages on iPad 4!"  My cell number is checked buy shaded out. It will not uncheck
Thank you

I am probably being dense. But iMessage is off on iPhone so nothing is selected . On iPad I have 1 email address picked which is my regular email and the @me account checked off. Then it has my phone number shaded gray which I am assuming is because the iPad is not a phone.  What am I missing, any ideas? Thank so much

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