Why do I have so much trouble syncing?

This is really starting to get on my nerves. I bought this iPhone because of all the cool stuff it can do and because it was supposed to be more reliable "because it's Apple." So far, I've had fewer complaints about the copy of Windows 7 that I bought around the same time. I never thought I'd say this but after about 9 months I'm more pleased with my purchase from Microsoft than I am with my purchase from Apple.
Anyways, onto my real problem...
Nearly every time I try to connect my iPhone I have to plug and unplug the USB cable several times before it finally gets recognized in iTunes. Just now I tried at least a dozen times before trying restarting both my computer and iPhone. When that didn't work I tried reinstalling iTunes. It synced this time, but on the second try so the problem isn't solved.
What happens when I plug it in is the phone will make the sound it makes when you plug it in and it charges but it never goes on to say, "Sync In Progress." iTunes hangs for about a minute and then gives up trying to recognize it. If it does eventually work, iTunes loads the phone's contents quickly.
Because of this issue I'm also wary of updating to iOS 4.0.2 as it could cause problems during the update process.

@stellarwill
"iTunes hangs for about a minute and then gives up trying to recognize it."
@dosk
Why would you post your question in my thread instead of making your own? Your problem is completely different.
@shadowbeast
I didn't think it was necessary to post my computer's specs but if you think it will help, these are them:
Intel Core i7-920
Asus P6T mobo (which is the Intel 1366 chipset)
Mushkin 6GB Triple Channel DDR3
WD 1TB 7200RPM SATA HDD
ATi Radeon 5750
Creative X-Fi XtremeGamer
I built my computer by hand so I can't just call someone and play tech support tag getting transferred back and forth between Apple and the computer manufacturer. Problems like this never get solved by tier 1 tech support anyway.
Could you link me to an article describing these faulty chipsets? I've never heard of anything like this.

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