Why i keep seeing email on iphone, even after i deleted it directly from the server?

Why i keep seeing email on iphone, even after i deleted it directly from the server?
This means it doesnt sync the server inbox, only keeps pushing new emails!
How to force it to realy sync every time the server inbox, and just show me in the iphone inbox exactly what i see in the server inbox???

I'm just fresh in iOS, but dont think its a POP/IMAP matter.
Always used mobile push email apps on symbian and android with POP and never had this issue.
My usual former scheme is:
a) My main email client is Outlook at my laptop (POP). This one is the master email client and after download new emails deletes them at the server.
b) My secondary is a mobile email client (also POP) - just to see whats going on and maybe reply here and there.
Meaning, laptop does cut/paste and mobile does copy/paste
So:
a) If i download a new email first using my laptop, it will never be pushed latter from iphone (its not there anymore).
b) If i download a new email first using my mobile app, and only then download it with laptop, it is still there available, and then gets deleted at the server.
c) If i download a new email first using my mobile app and if i manualy delete it and then perform another sync, then this email is deleted at server, and will be no more available for download to laptop.
Resuming:
1- The laptop ask to server what's in the inbox, downloads it all and then order the server to kill them all.
2- The iphone only ask whats new and downloads it all.
3- The iphone SHOULD ask server what's new, AND ask server what was removed from server inbox since last sync, AND tell server wich emails were removed at iphone since last sync.
As far i remember, at least one symbian app called Profimail does all this quite perfectly...
Any ideas?

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