Why is ask to share someone screen greyed out when on yosemite, sometimes it is greyed out, other times it's not

can someone tell me when I try to screen share and ask if she will let me see her screen, the option to ask to screen share is greyed out.  The weird thing, is, is sometimes, it's greyed out, and sometimes it's black.  Can not figure out why that would be.  Tried same thing with my Bro and the option was not greyed out.
Is there a glitch or what when its inconsistent about the option to ask to share their screen.

The quick answer is that certain Back to My Mac features are not working well in Yosemite.
Read some of the following to determine if there is anything you can do about it, otherwise we will just have to wait for Apple to fix it:
Setting up and using Back to My Mac with an AirPort base station or Time Capsule
OS X Yosemite: Share your screen using Back to My Mac
If you have issues using Back to My Mac - Apple Support

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