Why is i-tunes nolonger recognising my iphone 3gs?

Midway through updating my iphone (it completed the first stage), iTunes stopped.  Now my iphone is unusable and its screen permanently shows an image of a USB cable and iTunes icon - it shows this when plugged in to iTunes but iTunes nolonger recognises nor communicates with it.  In meantime, I can't use my phone nor received calls or texts, etc.  Fortunately, there is a back-up of my phone on iTunes so if I can get it working again I will be able to restore everything again.  Have been through all the troubleshooting guides and followed all points to no avail.  Husband says 'just get a Samsung Galaxy' !!!

First, turn off or disable all Anti-Virus software & Firewalls. Then force the phone into Recovery Mode & restore it:
Turn your phone off, then:
Leave the USB cable connected to your computer, but NOT your phone, iTunes running, press & hold the home button while connecting the USB cable to your dock connector, continue holding the home button until you see “Connect to iTunes” on the screen. You may now release the home button. iTunes should now display that it has detected your phone in recovery mode, if not quit and reopen iTunes. If you still don’t see the recovery message repeat these steps again. iTunes will give you the option to restore from a backup or set up as new.

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