Why is ipad2 still online and active when supposedly in lost mode and locked?

hey all,
i need some help regarding a situation i'm in!! the overview is i'm going through a messy breakup at the moment and my ex has possession of my ipad2 (a wi-fi model that's running ios6)!! it's supposedly for my 7 year old son's use (he's autistic)!! anyway, since it's registered to me, i had restrictions enabled with a 4 digit pass code where i had location services turned on, and i disabled my mail account and other things that would not be appropriate for my son to use or access, such as skype, facebook, etc!! basically, all that was on it was his game apps, safari, youtube and our photos of days out etc!! my ex was paranoid i was spying on her through the location service....... i explained that it was a security feature that would enable it to track it if it was lost or stolen!! she even thought i was listening to her conversations and watching her through the camera!! i explained this was absurd and paranoid!! anyway........
well, here's the problem!! after having the restrictions enabled for months, oddly enough after receiving a summons last week requesting her to attend court next week concerning the matter of my contact with my son, i noticed yesterday on my find my iphone app on my icloud account on my macbook the locations services was disabled and the ipad was online, being used!! realizing immediately she's obviously figured out my restrictions pass code and turned off the locations feature!! i immediately put it into lost mode (receiving an email confirming), and within minutes, it was offline for about 4 hours!! in the afternoon, i checked it again, lost mode was disabled and it was being used....... so i put it in lost mode again! 30 seconds later, it was disabled........ finally, i put it into lost mode and added a message that would be  displayed on the screen stating 'be warned: i am aware you are using my passcode and password without my permission, which is a criminal breach of my privacy! ignore this & i will report to the police!'! it went offline! 7pm i received a text to my iphone asking my my son couldn't access the ipad and why was there a request to phone her! i ignored, as i know this was a game!! whilst in work, i received an email to my icloud mail inbox stating that 'lost mode had been enabled'......... making me realize she must also have access to my apple ID to gain access to icloud to enable lost mode! it stands to reason that you cannot tell the device you are actually using it is lost and lock it down!! finally, i updated the lost mode with a new message stating i was going to the police and she freaked out!!
so, that's the situation! the questions i need answered are:
*aside from a lucky guess, how else could she get my pass code and icloud pass word? is it possible the ipad has been jailbroken, hacked or spyware has been used to get my pass code and password?
*how come, when in lost mode, it says on the find my iphone feature on icloud that it's active (green spot) and 'online: location services disabled'? should lost mode not render the device unusable? i monitored it for at least an hour last minute...... it kept changing it's status from 'online: location service disabled' to simply 'offline'!
*in the 'find my iphone' app on icloud, next to the lost device, there's a symbol of an orange padlock! what does this actually mean? if it means it's locked, then how can it be online and seemingly active?
just to cap off, i've requested the device be returned to me (my ex has ignored this, stating only she intends to replace this device so she's free from my control and spyware) and i've contacted my solicitor who has offered to send an official letter requesting it's safe return!! as the device is registered in my name and contains my personal information, i understand the implications for her is that she's committed theft and possibly used criminal means to invade my privacy!!
any help or advice would be greatly appreciated!
alex

just giving this a wee bump as time is of the essence here and i need advice/ answers quick!
apologies if i've broke any rules!
alex

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