Why is Outgoing mail from my iPad not appearing in Outlook 2010?

I have set my iPad to synch with my gmail account.  In turn my gmail account downlaods and synchs with Outlook 2010 on my Windows 7 PS.
Everything works except that when I send mail from my iPad or reply to incoming mail from my iPad, my replies, whilst synchronising with my gmail account, and showing in the Sent folder in gmail, do not download to Outlook. 
If I log into gmail (from my email or via Safari) and send mail direct from gmail these messagesshow in the Sent box and DO show in iPad gmail outbox and Outlook, though they show in the Outlook inbox!
So the only mail that gets stuck in gmail and won't download to Outlook is outgoing mail sent from gmail in my iPad. 
I can work around this by sending a bcc to myself of every outgoing message I send from iPad.  In this case the Send copy shows up in the Sent folder in gmail and does not download to Outleook but the bcc copy arrives in nthe Inbox in gmail and does download to Outlook.  Its ugly but works.
A proper fix would be better - does anyone have any ideas?

For Exchange GMail there is a way to set your iOS device to use a different "Send As" name than when using a computer.  Unfortunately in your case, you can set your computer to send an alternate name but the iOS device can only send the default GMail name, which is the name associated with your account.  Ideally, you would like your iOS device to use the alternate and let your computer use the default.
But if you want to play around with this ...
1- On the iOS device itself, use Safari to navigate to m.google.com/sync.  You will have to log in at the prompt with your GMail account info.
2- Select the iOS device name (in case you have multiple iOS devices using Google sync).
3- Select "Enable 'Send Mail As' for this device" and Save the changes.
4- Using a computer, log into your GMail account and select Settings/ Accounts and Import, then at the "Send mail as" prompt select "edit info" (off to the right).
5- Change your outgoing name.
The name you specify in #5 will be used by your computer, but the iOS device will continue using the original (default) outgoing name.  You can see why you need the opposite in your case, so unless you can change the default to be your wife's name and then set the alternate to be your name, I think you're out of luck.

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