Why wont iCal acknowledge accepted invites? iCal to iCal?

Good afternoon:
Today, I'm using Lion and my daughter is using the latest version of Snow Leopard, but this was a problem when we were both using Snow Leopard too.
I send her and my wife and invitation via iCal. Wife accepts and in the event it shows she has accepted. Daughter accepts and it does not. I have the email with the attachment and I have iCal set to retrieve the invitations automatically and yet.....nothing.
Ultimately, it doesn't matter since I have the email so I know she has it on her calendar but it still cranks me. Why do some iCal to iCal invitations not work?
Mine are sent from my .Mac address and go to my daughters POP account and she responds to my .Mac account. Can it really be that iCal invitations only work between .Mac email addresses? Surely not.
Any thoughts?
Thanks.

smorgus,
Or was it because I told Mac Mail (aka Mail.app) that my default email reader is Thunderbird? In Preferences > General > Default email reader.
AFAIK, that is one of the purposes of that preference.
;~)

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