Won't show in itunes - utterly fed up

Really fed up with this issue now to the point where I will tear my hair out or punch someone!!!
I recently bought an ipod touch which connected to itunes at first but now it's hit and miss, took me at least 3 hours to get a book on there as I had to keep trying different things to try and get it to show up in itunes.
Just paid £499 for a new iphone 4s and it won't connect at all so I can't sync wirelessly, can't put my music or videos onto it.
Finding this very frustrating as I have better things to do than waste hours of my time trying different things just for the device to do what it should be doing.
I've followed every article and tried everything.  I've restarted the device, reinstalled itunes, everything else that's been suggested bla bla bla, nothing works.
Out of the blue after hours and hours my ipod touch just decided to show in itunes.  No such luck with my iphone 4s.  Never had a problem with my ipod classic that still syncs brilliantly every time.  It's not my pc, it's not the cable, there is a major problem with itunes since the recent updates.
This will be my last I.O.S purchase, despite the number of posts on this subject I don't see apple actually resolving it.  What a quality company - not!
£500 well spent, should've gone with a samsung or blackberry, learnt my lesson.
If anyone has actually solved this common issue that apple can't be bothered with I'd really appreciate a solution, thanks.

See ya....

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